The Experience of Oneness¹
The great sage Ramana Maharshi famously shared that God, Guru, and the Self are one. When this truth landed in me for the first time, I felt a wash of love and relaxation. I’m lucky to have received this transmission directly from my living Guru² at the time, dissolving differences that brought me into the powerful embrace of Self. In this Oneness, there is no hierarchy; there is only expansion, surrender, and Love. Before the notion of I am, at the source of one’s being, lives Oneness. There, we all know who we are. There, we know eternal bliss.
The Experience of Otherness
Surrendered Leadership is where Ramana Maharshi meets Jean-Paul Sartre. In Sartre’s famous play No Exit three dead characters are stuck in a room together forever. One declares thematically, “Hell is other people.” To relate to others while sharing space — including oxygen, energy, and emotions — can test our precious sense of Oneness. If Oneness is Heaven, Otherness is Hell. Otherness reflects a limited understanding of Self, wherein the Self is not God, and certainly not Guru.
Sartre warns in his text Being and Nothingness, “the Other is the indispensable mediator between myself and me.” In a Surrendered Leadership circle, I have the opportunity to see where Otherness still mediates my perception of Self; and by my own leadership, I transform that perception back to Oneness.
The Practice of Surrendered Leadership
A Surrendered Leadership circle invites participants to co-exist in a space together; but unlike the terms of No Exit, the practice has exits both in space and time. There is no defined form, though each leader can attempt to shape the form through context (like I’m doing now). To me, the formlessness of a Surrendered Leadership circle resembles God, insofar as God is both form and formless. I can ascribe God a form, but ultimately Oneness is beyond form. If I led everyone into the shape of a circle, for example, that form is only an aspect of the ultimately formless nature of God.
As a human being contained in form, I experience life in form, while my soul abides in the ultimate truth of formlessness. In a Surrendered Leadership circle, as in life, I desire to lead myself back to the Soul. This joyful paradox of form in formlessness is my focus in the practice, no matter what forms present.
Human Desire
Under God, human desire rules. Everyone desires certain conditions to feel closer to themselves, to Oneness, and therefore to God. When these conditions clash with others, they appear oppositional, or even hellish. One may want physical touch, another quiet, another singing, and so on. However, each is an expression of my longing to be closer to Oneness. If I know this truth in myself, as it appears in others, I can rest deeply in that Oneness already, and feel a taste of eternal bliss.
When I share desire, I give freedom to my human form to express the life force energy that birthed itself into existence. It’s a creative energy that enjoys form, while simultaneously desiring the freedom of formlessness. Only with form can the longing for formlessness exist. Therefore, the longing — like life itself — is worth celebrating! I rejoice in my own longing for Oneness by expressing my desire as truthfully as I can.
The more I tune into my desire, I can feel the richness of the human experience course through me in the form of energy. I can project my desire on my environment, but if my environment doesn’t conform, where does my desire go? If I know my desire is for God, which lives in the Self, I have the freedom to experience my longing as pure life force energy. This way, I can express my desire straight to God.
Binding Preferences & Projections
A trap in expressing desire is when its actualization becomes a binding preference. If I don’t get my desire fulfilled in form, I suffer. This is a pathway to Otherness. In a Surrendered Leadership circle, any desire I want actualized in form, if it is not relatively self-contained (like moving my body solo, expressing to God, or going to the bathroom) will have a noticeable impact on the field of Oneness. Sometimes, it may be important for my individual growth to feel my desire’s impact on Oneness. For example, if I share my desire for Oneness as if it is absent, there could be strong impact from those who sense that I want to shape form. However, if I trust that all my desires are to feel God closer, and rejoice in my innate longing, I contribute to the celebration of Oneness already here!
Because of the formless nature of Surrendered Leadership, it is an advanced practice. Like life itself, it reflects such a variety of projections that it becomes a huge mirror. The more formless it is, the cleaner and bigger of a mirror it is. In Surrendered Leadership, projections can land on the participants, the leadership, the circle, the space, or the practice. Projections can zoom in or out. A leader’s context is even a projection of their own desire to narrow formlessness into form. My best leadership in a Surrendered Leadership circle holds a spirited and loving balance of form in formlessness.
Mirrors as Teachings
As a participant, I may think the practice doesn’t have enough structure, but (really) I feel timid to share my desires into a large space. I judge the circle as chaotic, while (really) I have an attachment to control. I find the leader too directive, since (really) I hold a fierce value on freedom. I feel stifled by a fellow participant taking space, because (really) I want to be bigger and don’t feel permission. As I take ownership of my projections, the reflection becomes a teaching, and Surrendered Leadership is the Guru.
A guru is one who removes ignorance, who shines light on darkness. If I see Surrendered Leadership as a pure reflection of Self, as my form projecting onto Oneness, then it is also Light illuminating my form. Every projection is my own attempt to give it form, usually from Otherness. The more I expose my form — my Otherness — more of its shadow illuminates into Oneness. That transformation is my self-leadership.
Leading from Surrender
Naturally, there are qualifications of an environment — or context — that make it easier to abide in Oneness. If we were practicing in a war zone, more Otherness would surely arise. Every leader holds certain criteria to aid their ability to abide truthfully in Oneness, and projects that onto the practice by setting context. Not every participant will feel the same under those same conditions, and will ideally express their desire. Sometimes, expressions come with fear, and the leader’s focus is to receive all expressions while abiding as truthfully as possible in Oneness. Incidentally, this goes for every participant leading from surrender, as well. In this way, the closest truth to Oneness becomes the ongoing context.
Having lived in a circling community with my Guru, I thankfully know what it feels like to circle with a leader who holds a full context of Oneness. If form wants to shape the space, our continually renewed trust in his context setting helps us to realign our focus on God. We have transcended normal states of consciousness together in circle, and felt blissful Unity beyond the personal I. Naturally, we express personal desires, but they more and more point to the Self. We often express at the same time, as the expressions are sent to God and received by the Self. In this way, we each lead ourselves in surrender to Oneness through our Guru, ourselves, and each other.
In a Surrendered Leadership circle without an enlightened leader, I trust the practice itself to hold the context. The more I surrender to the practice as God, the more my leadership takes a formless shape to receive all forms in Love. I hope this writing will inspire fellow leaders like you to feel deeper trust in the practice as God, knowing that there is little anyone needs to do to shape it into Love.
¹Oneness can have other names, each capitalized: Unity, Wholeness, God, the Divine, the Soul, the Universe, Spirit, Guru, Self, Love, Truth, etc.
²I sometimes called my Guru my Spiritual Teacher, as a more neutral term to ears less adjusted to the concept.
