“There is a tune I never heard played in the symphony of this universe. I hope to play it for you some day.”
Ronja Lofstad
The journey was always there
I guess the journey was always there, it has no start as such. I always felt like I lived in two worlds, the world of relationships and social interactions and the inner world where the universe seemed somehow more real, ritcher, more aligned. And as you might have guessed, these worlds never really met in the earlier years of my life.
I’d say the first time they did was when I met Peter Munthe-Kaas back in 2013. He borrowed me the book “Going to pieces without falling apart” which was my first meeting with Eastern philosophy. Since then, it slowly dawned on me that this inner world that had no place is pretty central in plenty of world religions and philosophies outside my little Oslo bubble.
But even with this realisation, it never felt like I was able to bridge the two worlds in my everyday life, I was either social or real.. This always nagged me, I wanted both at the same time. So this is where Circling entered the stage. I remember thinking after the first workshop I attended that “this is cool, but it is not IT, it is not at the core of it.”. I still believe that is true but the thing is – I never found anthing that is straight to the point, that capture the essence of my inner world.
Working with Circling
So at some point I figured that Circling was as good a starting point as any, and the mission became to move slowly from the known, established format and into my own thing. Turned out to be harder than expected – it is hard to move into form without losing the formless. And vica verca. So that is where I am now, still trying to solve that same old riddle for myself.
I guess the point here is that this inner journey mirrors the outer journey, the more I started to align the inner quest with the form of the practice, the more time and energy I poured into attending and facilitating workshops. At some point all of this became my job, I’m still not sure how that happened.
The irony? I think all of this work have brought me further away from what I truly long for than I have ever been. And that’s okay for now, I enjoy it anyways. But maybe one day, I’ll actually slow down the search enough to see what I am looking for.
