What is Transformational Connection?
Transformational Connection arose in 2024 as John Thompson and Sean Wilkinson , formerly of Circling Europe left the Circling trademark and renamed their company and the practice. It is a paradoxical term as the practice is fundamentally oriented towards being with what is, rather than changing anything. However the argument is, that being with what is, is a very good way to create the grounds for transformation.
The practice emphasizes being with each other in quite a radical way, trusting that whatever shows up in connection can be a relevant key to deepening the relationship, even though it might be uncomfortable.
It is very powerful to reveal the truth of our experience. Liberating even. It creates intimacy and a sense of connection when we dare to say out loud what is actually going on in and between us. This doesn’t mean that Transformational Connections is only about sharing uncomfortable truths (although that might happen), rather it is a practice of simply sharing what it is like to be present on the one side and deeply listening on the other.
The willingness to share your present moment experience without knowing the outcome brings us into the unknown of the connection, which can be somewhat scary but also very beautiful. When we start showing (or drop) the layers of shielding that keeps us at a safe distance from each other we can find new and more connected ways of relating.
Transformation Connection as a practice supports people in seeing how they can find more connection and aliveness in their lives. It is a communication paradigm that takes time to grasp and integrated, but that can quite profoundly transform the way you experience connection with others.
What does it look like?
Concretely a Transformational Connection session could look something like this. You are in a room with a group of people and the leader starts by guiding you into noticing what it is actually like to be there, in that room right now. As you spend some time in this noticing you might start becoming more aware of your body, and your emotional state (maybe you are a bit nervous as this is the first time in this kind of setting?). You might also “just” be thinking about the annoying thing from work, but when the leader asks you to notice your thoughts you become aware of your thinking in a new way.
After this brief intro exercise the leader asks you to join someone else in a pair. As you sit down with a stranger you are asked to do the same exercise again, simply noticing what it is like to sit there with someone else. Maybe its different than when you were sitting on your own? As you share eye contact with your partner you might also notice emotions (shyness, fear, joy?) arising. As you sit longer in the silence you might experience it as uncomfortable, awkward, peaceful or deeply rewarding, like you truly get to see someone.
The leader then asks you to start sharing your experience with words. Simply telling the other what you are experiencing and noticing. You might be asked to start from the concrete (what are you seeing, like facial expressions, clothing etc.) or jump straight into what is the most present for you (“I just feel so happy sitting here with you”, “I feel super tense after sitting in silence for so long”).
A next step could be that the leader invites in impact, asking you (and your partner) to share more dynamically (“wow. I feel surprise, but also excitement, when I hear about your happiness”, “I get curious about your tension, what is it like? Is it still there?). In this way you support each other in staying with the experience as is is emerging and evolving.
After 10-15 minutes time you are asked to find a way to end the exercise together and join the big group again. Possibly there will be a few minutes for sharing impact from the exercise with the group before moving on to a new practice.
Focus Circles
Most Transformational Connection workshops will consist of many of these small, intimate meetings in pairs or triads guided by a context set by the leader. We are practicing the capacity to listen or to “be with the other in their world” and to skillfully sharing our own experience by “owning experience”.
Another component of many Transformational Connection workshops is focus circles, where one person has the attention of a small group for a longer time. Each group will have a leader who explains the exercise, asks who in the group would like to be “circled” and then starts the practice. Typically there will be a short meditation where the leader directs the attention of the group towards the person in focus.
The practice often starts with the leader asking the person in focus something like “what is it like to be you right now”. They might share that they are slowly landing in having this much attention, that they feel shy or that they are simply loving being here. Someone in the group might share that hearing about the shyness makes them feel like they want to show that they are friendly, but that they don’t quite know how to do that.
This again leads to the person in focus sharing that they really appreciate the friendliness and that they feel softer and warmer in their body now. This inspires the leader to say that they really enjoy hearing that and would want for the person in focus to stay with the experience for a bit. The person in focus then shares that they feel frustrated and it feels like they are being asked what to do, which makes the leader ask what the frustration is like.
In this way the role of the group and the leader is to stay with the person in focus from moment to moment, bringing their curiosity and present moment experience into connection in service of really being with the person in the center.
[Written by: Peter Munthe-Kaas]
Related practices
Transformational Connection is in many ways similar to Circling and Relatefulness, while Surrendered Leadership is a particular leadership paradigm and practice format, that has grown out of the practice.
Surrendered Leadership
Leaders of Transformational Connection
There are many leaders around the world who lead Transformational Connection. We have quite a few in our network, but if you can’t see anyone below who are close to where you want to practice, contact us and we can direct you to someone closer to you.
Andrew Venezia
Anežka Marie Sokol
David Brundige
Diane Ellefsen
Ernest Holm Svendsen
Magdalena Tran
Mareike Christensen
Martje Witzel
Mateusz Jędrzejewski
Peter Munthe-Kaas
Pieter Lichtert
Ronja Lofstad
Rósanna Seigi Róbertsdóttir
Stephanie Ginter
Selected videos from youtube
Upcoming Transformational Connection events
These are the Transfomational Connection events that are coming up on Relating Arts.
Spiritual Cross Training: Voice Dialogue and Circling
Tögel Art Center, Kilvägen 5, 76391 Hallstavik, Sweden.
Where to learn
There is currently only one school where you can learn how to lead Transformational Connection. Transformational Connection hosts the SAS 6 month training that will give you a sense of the practice and where you can certify to lead it.